What the hack is Selfyontology?

It’s made up. Bear with me.

I want to know myself better. To understand what makes me ME and how to just be me without simultaneously second-guessing motives, decisions, impacts. It would be great if I could afford enough psychoanalysis for an expert to provide me the answer… but I’m not that rich AND who knows how long that would take AND it still probably wouldn’t be quite right, ya know? It would be through someone else’s lens or filter or framework of understanding. 

So I’m on a mission to psychoanalyze myself instead. To take myself through a journey, a structured study of the self. I will lie on my own fancy psycho-couch, take my own notes, and eventually get to that deliverable – “Here is Stephanie: diagrammed, demystified, documented.” I can’t find a how-to book out there that seems to cover everything I want… so I’m making it up myself. 

When I was growing up, selfish was the worst thing you could be. It burned over my skin like an infestation of shame. I’m over that now. Instead, I think of it as Self-ish – being about my Self, my soul, my being. Being conscious and intentional with the most important thing I have. 

I want to approach this project like an archeologist, or really a soulful paleontologist because that sounds more fun. Dinosaurs, right? Except when you dig a little deeper, archeology is all about the study of human history and culture through ancient artifacts, structures, and other physical remains. Created items. It’s all external. Paleontology is the study of life itself, usually via fossils, and focuses on the evolution of life forms over time. Technically, paleontology includes everything EXCEPT humans though – so we need another word. 

After going down a rabbit hole on the difference between -ology and -ontology, I learned a few things. First, paleontology doesn’t actually end with -ontology, haha. It’s confusing but basically it’s weird Greek stuff and it still ends with -ology, which means “the study of.” Ontology, it turns out, is actually a word all on its own, meaning “the study of being, existence, or what kinds of things exist.” Pretty good word.

Da da-da dah! Selfyontology walked right in the front door of my brain. Perfect project title. We are commencing a long-term study of my Self’s being, which I anticipate being both scholarly and embarrassingly self-absorbed – like one giant selfie. 

Here’s the breakdown. 

For a year, I will work through the following structure of self-exploration, analysis, and reflection – documenting everything. I’ve listed out the fossils I plan to dig through in the table below. Most of my findings I’ll publish here, unless they’re way too embarrassing. I’ll take feedback and ideas along the way! So I reserve the right to alter the structure if/when your ideas make the whole thing better. 

Month	Areas of Study, aka “The Fossils”
January	Kick-off – selfish vs. Self-ish. Maslow’s Hierarchy. Definitions of self-actualization. Values sort + daily reflection.
February	All the tests – MBTI, Enneagram, Big 5, DISC
March	Psych Stuff – CBT, IFS, DBT, Reality/Choice, Solution-Focused
April	Childhood memories – daily prompt (+ ask mom/dad specials)
May	Birth Chart, Birth Stone, Birth Flower
June	Try something new everyday, summer bucket list, how we feel app, summer check-in
July	Career tests/inventories – am I doing what I really want to do?
August	Map my circle, every friend/family member. What I love about them, what they bring out in me
September	School memories, try to get my old records. Reflect on each grade
October	All the religions. Can I try them out?
November	Gratitude list but make it cool
December	Try something new everyday, winter check in, how we feel app
January	Something I want every day, now that I know

Here we gooooooo.

Quick, tell me what you’d change before I get too far gone.